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Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in coldshard's LiveJournal:

Thursday, May 5th, 2005
10:30 pm
Birthdate prophecy?

Your Birthdate: June 19

Your birth on the 19th day of the month adds a tone of independence and extra energy to your life path.

But at the same time, it poses a number of obstacles to overcome before you are able to be as independent as you would like. The number 1 energy suggests more executive ability and leadership qualities than your path may have indicated.

A birthday on the 19th of any month gives greater will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach. However, a somewhat self-centered approach to life that may be in conflict with some of the other influences in your life.

This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush.

You are sensitive, but your feeling stay somewhat repressed.

You have a compelling manner that can be dominating in many situations.

You do not tend to follow convention or take advice very well.

Consequently, you tend to learn through experience; sometimes hard experiences.

The 19/1 is a loner number and you may experience feelings of being alone even if you are married.

You may take on a tendency to be nervous and angry.

A bit on, a bit off, it is amazing how often people can see just about any of these and say, 'hey, a good portion of that is just like me'.

But, a good portion of it does sound like me. Although I dont think I am terribly nervous nor angry ;)

Current Mood: pensive
7:09 pm
pictures and people
So for anyone who is wondering the picture I have up says the following, 'CAUTION! This sign has SHARP EDGES! Do not touch the edges of this sign! Also, the bridge it out ahead'

I love it ;) Does anyone know if this sign actually exists somewhere?

Also, my little group thingy ended today. It was interesting and I met some nice people but I had the same old problem all over again. Relating to people is hard, remembering all the details I want to remember is impossible, and having any clue what-so-ever about what people might be thinking.. well, that is even more difficult than impossible.

Wonder if I will see any of them around campus, it would be nice to catch up now and then. Chatting is fun.

Time for some martial arts, I was going to talk about that next correct? That should make for a few paragraphs at least! ;)

Too many smilies? never!

Current Mood: cheerful
Wednesday, May 4th, 2005
9:25 pm
oh, while I am thinking about it. How do you get pictures on here?? 40k and 100 pixels by 100 pixels? The program I used to use a couple of years ago died when I reformated and I cannot find a cheap method of doing this. I have several pictures that I could put up on here, if only I could get them down to an appropriate size... Help?
9:08 pm
Ever heard of biofeedback? I was actually surprised by the number of people I know who had not. Essentially it comes down to having some device which tells you about some part of your autonomic system. At this point you try to will yourself to change whatever it says to some other setting that you want.

Simple enough right? I have been doing a bit of it for awhile, so far with only minimal amounts of success. Supposedly it takes a great deal of time to become good at it though. Here is to hoping!

Whenever I go in they hook me up to a computer with a series of wires and sticky pads. One on my middle finger to take my temperature (in my estimation an odd place, but it is their game), two on my palm to test for tension levels (the explanation given to me had to deal with conductance, which I assume to mean they are checking for resistance on some sort of sliding scale), one on my wrist (the guy didnt seem to know what this was for exactly, he said something about keeping a background check on, but it hasnt come up in any of the graphs or charts that I have seen, nor does it seem to change my test screen. I assume it records heartrate somewhere for a test I am not doing), and two on my head (mmm.. nothing like cold gel lounging around on my ear and in my hair.. no one has asked any awkward questions yet though!).

Once I am all hooked up they bring up a little screen. On the left and right are both two scales from 0 to 10 with a little bar that goes up and down depending on activity in my brain. Each has a small, moveable tab that is set to a certain level along that scale. In the center is a big circle with a numerical counter. Whenever I get the bar on the left (the bad one, or, 'your brain is thinking about too many different things and is sucking') below the tab and the one on the right (the good one, or, 'yey! your brain is working in unison') above its own tab then the circle in the center lights up green, I get a nice little tone from the speakers, and the counter starts counting up.

If I am doing it too well then the guy moves the tabs up (he is mean like that) in hopes of making me better at this little exercise. Otherwise he moves them down until I can actually do something with it.

Control. It is all about control. The eventual goal is to be able to make my brain work in more accordance rather than in disonance. In essense, hoping that this will improve concentration, recall, and the ability to memorize details. Control is the key.

How does one control something that is mostly autonomic and cannot be felt directly? I certainly dont know ;) I have learned that if I put myself in a sortof half-sleep then I have slightly more control over the right hand bar, but the left hand bar seems fairly random. Even then though it is like trying to grasp smoke with my bare hands. Invisible smoke. That I only know is there because the computer next to me says so. Hopefully it is telling me the truth and not laughing at me behind its bright little screen with the glowing green circle. Dance for me little human!

Anyone know how to get an eeg machine for the home? ;) I think if I could do this test every other day or so I'd pick up on it much faster than the current once per week.

Looks like I am going through a list of my various activities over several of these posts.. perhaps martial arts next time? long walks in the woods? musings of the gym? attempted gaming sessions? or a few other things I suppose.... 0:)

Current Mood: not bad though ;)
Thursday, April 28th, 2005
11:21 am
why hello there
Just thought I would drop a line on here today with my little bit of free time.

I am not really sure what this journal is for, maybe nothing in particular at all, but here are a few words anyway.

Ever heard of nanostructures? They are interesting little things. Incredibly tiny, so tiny that they live in a very different world than we see around us. Forces that seem very important to us they may not even notice, forces that most of us might have never even heard of become paramount. Such things like gravity, which we normally consider to be fairly important, simply have almost no bearing at all. A world so tiny that where each atom actually is and what atom it is next to can actually change everything about what is going on.

This is the realm I am currently trying to study. Myself and several others are working on making a few of these structures, in a controllable way, so as to get the response that we desire to see. In this case, high uptake of methane for storage and possible use in engines. Run your vehicle on a renewable resource! Genius! lol

We are just at the very beginning stages now. So far we only have vague guesses about why certain things happen or what might make it better or worse. In a completely alien world where we cannot directly see into and can only make inferences important things are waiting to be discovered.. hopefully..

Anyone have any suggestions on how to become brilliant? ;)

Current Mood: amused
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